Halloween

Let's take a minute to recognize the incredible coolness of Halloween.

Seriously.  When I think of very American customs and holidays, most of them (albeit charming) often make me roll my eyes.  Thanksgiving has a less-than-pretty historical aspect...and really just results in everyone eating until they're uncomfortable.  Independence day usually involves loud fireworks, obnoxious renditions of "Proud To Be An American," and pretty much results in the same gastrointestinal outcome as Thanksgiving.  Christmas...well...fuck Christmas.  (Hanukkah is alright though.) 

Halloween is one of those holidays that actually makes me beam with Amurrikan pride.  Eagles (or perhaps just really patriotic looking bats) soar in the red, white, and blue expanses of my consciousness.  Toby Keith starts playing in the background wherever I go.  And dammit...I want to share this with the world. 

Just take trick-or-treating for example. It might be the most incredible holiday tradition in any country, ever.  You dress up like whatever you want, walk around the neighborhood, and YOU GET CANDY!!  Well...most of the time...bar any run-ins with the ultra-religious that hand out bits of Corinthians in lieu of Snickers.  But I guess those types would probably just be giving out celery and tooth-brushes if they weren't handing out the divine word, so they're probably a lost cause anyway.

But back on topic, two of the English teachers here, Bill and Robin decided to host a little Halloween party for all the foreign teachers along with a few Chinese friends we've met in our time here.  They went all out, especially considering they packed Halloween decorations.  From the look of it, an entire suitcase was probably devoted to Halloween banners, jack-o-lanterns, and that sweet fake cobweb stuff.  The Chinese loved it, the Americans felt nostalgic, and Paolo (our Italian friend) looked like a bit confused in his zombie face paint.  But he was having a good time nonetheless.  I asked Paulo if they did the Halloween thing in Italy.  He said that they didn't when he was growing up (he's in his 50s), but the kids these days have been trying it out a little.

The though of little Italian and Chinese children walking around trick-or-treating is my kind of globalization.

"Okay China, we want KFC and McDonalds back.  But...we'll give you jack-o-lanterns, a few preschoolers wrapped in toilet paper, and this slutty witch.  Deal?"

As for me, I went as a realistic version of the very popular Chinese cartoon Xi Yang Yang, happy sheep sheep.  A very realistic version.  In the sense that I was just wearing a normal sheep mask.

I don't think most of the Chinese understood that I knew this mask looked nothing like the actual Xi Yang Yang.  But oh well, I thought it was amusing.  (And I couldn't actually find a Xi Yang Yang mask). 

Purchasing and walking around the shopping area wearing the mask was about as much fun as wearing it to the halloween party.  Here's what I imagine the thought process of those watching to be (translated into English):

"Oh...weird.  Look at that guy in a sheep costume and that absurd jacket.  I wonder why he's doing that.  Oh, he's taking off his mask.  WHAT THE FUCKKKKKK!!!!  Maybe it's another mask.  Wait for it...wait for it.  Nope, he's actually that pale."

The next post will be about my relationship with the Chinese language...so yeah.  Umm...get excited?