How Abouts I Sweeten This Here Deal

My first stroll through a Chinese supermarket was a wild combination of excitedness, timid curiosity, and a smattering of hunger.  It was new.  It was crazy, so I didn't notice a certain omnipresent (yet somehow subtle) hilarious detail about many of the products on the shelves.  Which brings me to the title of this entry.  Chinese supermarkets love to sweeten the deal.  Not with "buy one get one" or other common ploys, but they seem to throw in random items as a reward for picking a specific product.

Buy some yogurt, get a bag.  Buy some mayonnaise, get a spoon.  Need toilet paper, why not take a beautiful fan to go with it.  (Mind you, these are all real life examples that I have witnessed.)

It's everywhere, random small objects bound to larger ones with a zip tie or tape.  I hope this doesn't sound like a complaint, because as I type this, I'm drinking juice out of a cup that I only have because it sweetened my juice purchase.

As time went on, I began to notice more absurd pairings.  Buy this toilet cleaner...you want some chopsticks?  Because when you think of your disgusting toilet (note my projecting), please let the first thing that you think of be shoveling food into your mouth.  I began to fantasize about other wonderful pairings.  What objects would I staple together and sell as a pair to unsuspecting consumers?  I would certainly make mine a bit more imaginative, perhaps throwing in some true (and cheeky) utility.



Pasta Sauce...throw in some bleach.
Snoring Preventer...toss in a couple of earplugs as a plan B.
Banquet Individual Pot Pies...at least include a link to some job hunting websites.

But seriously, next time you're in Publix or Walmart.  Check around.  I feel like it won't be too long until we start to do the same.